Determined to Change my World

My last marriage post I left off with a cliff hanger, of sorts. Because I shared how we got to our dysfunction, but I knew we were not to a place where I could say we were healed.  Where I could say I wanted to stay in my marriage, even if that is what God wanted. I wrote of hope that I hoped to come and prayed prayers for others for the same.
A lot has happened since August of 2014.  A lot of difficult and good situations and outcomes.
We are still going to marriage counseling and, I for one, need it.  It helps us get over the bumps, the hard things to talk about, and helps us to grow in the journey of recovery.
We are recovering and learning to love where we are and who we are.  That is not easy.  When you got problems with who you are, they will become problems to overcome for your spouse too.  And I think we are way more imperfect than we let on, still.  But one day at a time.  I am finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.  I don't feel like I have to prove anything.  I am learning to taylor my expectations so that they are reasonable and laced with grace and mercy.  Neither of which have I ever been exceptionally good at.  And I am learning to see the best in my husband, rather than focusing on the things that I allowed irritate me for years.  Those "things" grew so big in my mind that they overshadowed anything good that I should have been focusing on. We have been learning how to be real. Honest to goodness, genuine, Ron and Stephanie.  Boy, that hurts sometimes.
We have survived some disappointment and some redirecting of our lives this last year. We learned how to hope and dream again.  How to pursue something we wanted.  How to handle being told no. How to face losing important wants. That we could be facing much worse.  How to find new dreams and start appreciating today, as much as tomorrow, or yesterday for that matter. Others in our lives have taught us some hard lessons about forgiveness and mercy.  And I am still staggering over some of those.  Realizing that I am an infant in that department.  Only beginning to even understand the fullness of the forgiveness of God.  But with each lesson I am humbled and have a greater appreciation for the attributes that I now seek to live out.
I am determined to change my world for the better by starting with me.  By growing and by encouraging growth in others.  I see 2015 as a year to live it out and I hope that I can let God in enough to end the year saying that I have. Here are some verses that inspire me:

Galatians 5:22-23
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

1 Thesalonnians 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

1 Colossians1:9-14
 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,  being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience,  and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.  For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

1 Peter 3:7-8 (and I think there is a message for both wife and husband in this)
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

Eye Candy or Heirloom Worthy?

So I was thinking the other day about what life looks like.  We often look at everyone else’s life and we base what we think it is like, with so little information or real insight.  Most of the very things that haunt us as blemishes in our own life are hid very well by others.  When someone reveals their secrets, vulnerabilities, or flaws we gasp, are shocked, judge, or admire.  But we never expect it.  Often don’t see it coming.  Or have already found the people “less than” because of something.  Somewhere we get lost in the illusion that anyone has it going perfectly. Or everyone is messed up.  But that it is obvious.

I have met people, know people, who feel their lives are pretty perfect.  But what I have found is that their lives are typically just as messy as mine.  It is just their frame of mind, their perspective, that is perfect.  Even then they will tell you that really they have great moments of weakness.  There are tears and worries, just like us.  But for the most part their thankfulness and recognition of the blessings outweighs the worry and recognition of the trials. The other group has the people that think their life is trash, over, and have given up.  They have lost hope and everyone knows it.  Some of us fall in between those groups.  But our view, and others, are always skewed by what we see.

I don’t want a life that looks perfect to anyone.  But I want to see my life as a life not wasted.  Where growth is present, love abounds, and forgiveness is always present.
I want my children to learn this by my example.

I may not understand the lessons, the hardships, the trials, but I hope that I can grow and shine with the realization that understanding isn’t necessary, but faith and hope is.

An example of this was my recent mental inventory of the things we have actually gotten new.  Not used, not from a thrift store, but store bought new.  Very little have we purchased new, in years.  And the things we had seemed to develop a problem or defect within a year of buying it. Usually right after the warranty was up.    The fridge has dysfunctional water dispensing.  The microwave button began to stick before we had cooked a whole meal.  The big flat tv has a hairline black area on the screen and a mind of it’s own when streaming things. The computer is, well, just a computer with all the quirks of technology and the bugs that come along with it.

Yet, the used stuff, I don’t even think of that.  I think of the great deal, the remarkable repair or restoration made of it, or the usefulness.  Appreciated without the expected warranty period or expectation of working perfectly.  Of course we expect less because we pay less.  Right?  Perceived expectations based on a false sense of worth.  Not on what it’s function is intended to be as much as what the new state of the item is to begin with and how long it can stay that way. And we all know that things are not made like the use to be.  Cheaper made, more costly the price.

But I realize that we do that with stuff and people.  And I also realize that  I am so thankful that God doesn't do that with us.  That he didn't look at us and feel we deserved less because we could not pay, did not live up to, or did not come new with a warranty.  He saw that we were imperfect, sinners that didn't have a way of our own, and gave his Perfect Son as a sacrifice for us to have a relationship with Him and have salvation.  Humanity first chose that false perspective, over God, a long time ago.  But thankfully he sees things a little more clearly and deeply than we do.

It may not sound very flattering to some.  Who still highly value the new.  But I think of myself as a flea market treasure that God saw potential in and decided that he wanted me for what I was, with all my flaws, and paid a new price for me anyway.  I want to have a God’s eye perspective on the potential and I would be surprised if I was the only one.

Just something to ponder.

Romans 5:1-6
Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.

Living Out Your Vows...

When you recited your marriage vows you may not have imagined you would need to follow through on some of them. Young and full of blind infatuation...But now that you must love as God called us to love, how many have you survived through? How many have you broken?

Ron and I have been through it all. It is not easy. But sometimes the love shines through the commitment, rather than the feeling. Praying for my friends who are struggling with theirs and continuing to pray for my own as we survive the trials of this fallen world.

Procrastination or Preparation?

As I face the fact that I have been resisting this post, and finding other things to do. I realize that I have been procrastinating and telling myself the lie that I am preparing my heart for the task.  But in all reality, I just am not sure I am in a place to share the last couple years.  Because I realize some of it still hurts.  But it took writing, up until this point, to realize that it was indeed the case, to the degree it is.  
I am trying to use my experience to encourage others who are going through similar situations and/or disappointments and I am not through with this journey.  Truly though, I think if I waited to be done I would be dead and then I wouldn't share anything at all.  So I am going to do my best to share things from my perspective and my pain and my healing, to the degree I have. Deal?

When I found out that my husband had not been honest with me, about something I thought he had a firm belief about, it made me first, mad.  Then, shocked.  Then, disappointed.  Mad again. Sad, broken, lonely, bitter.  I realized that if something that I thought to be in his moral fiber was not really, then who was this man?  

We had been married for 22 years.  Had more than our share of ups and downs.  Been through joy and grief.  Raising children.  Sticking together through tough stuff.  Successes and failures. Lost and Found.  

I came to the realization, that for him to hide something from me, that I thought he was against, for 10 years, then I didn't really know who he was.  
All the years that I had sworn that he wasn't being honest with me, and was doubting myself, my perception, was really real.  So what else was real and not real.  

Really it is a mind blowing concept to have to face.  And no matter the good intention of a lie (we will leave Christmas presents out of this) it breaks the fabric of a relationship from the moment it starts.  Because after the initial lie or dodging of the truth you will have to keep tabs.  If you are still doing it, what ever it is you're hiding, you will have to cultivate and groom your life to nurture this lie/habit for as long as you hold onto it.

In the middle of all those emotions I shared above, I got numb.  It had to be somewhere between broken, lonely, and bitter.  We started counseling with our pastor and then months later with a therapist.  But my husband kept falling back into his old pattern, that I believe is a foundational flaw in our relationship.  He wouldn't commit to the new habit that would break the old/bad one.  He would start the process and then make excuses and eventually stop working towards fixing things.

The whole time I tried to act like nothing happened to most everyone.  I wanted it to have not happened.  I wanted to forget it.  I wanted to go back.  But one day, one last straw, I realized I didn't want to go back.  

I think that was my problem every other time we hit speed bumps or issues.  I would want it as it was.  Well, for the first time I realized that was not good enough.  Because something had been missing from the beginning and it created this fertile place of disfunction in our marriage and relationship.

I know that it would be so 'Story Perfect' if I could say, "Oh, we were missing God from our lives and we found God and then everything was better."
But I have to break it to you that we were 15 year old Christians.  We were both highly involved in our church.  I have had some people say that to go through this or for this to happen then someone must have not been saved or we/he didn't really know Jesus.  But I will stand and say this is not a faith based thing.  People confuse being saved and being perfect.  Coming to a faith in Christ and realizing how much you need a savior is just the opposite of that.  You realize who you are and that you don't have a leg to stand on without God.  I fully believe that my husband and myself are saved Christians.  I also believe we are sinners.  We are not perfect.  We make mistakes.  And sometimes they are really bad.  But God convicts us in our hearts, and yes it may take years.  It may take intervention, or brokenness to come to terms with it.  Sometimes it is a bad habit we bring into our faith and sometimes it is a temptation we give into after we know it is really wrong.  

I don't know the words God will have for us on the day we stand before Him, but I know he will have a few for me and a few for most everyone about our behavior.  But in the mean time we have to strive to do the best we can to behave in such a way that reflects the heart of God we want to have.

As much as either of us tried, or not, in the last couple of years we did not do a good job of that.  My bitterness became my sin that I embraced and nurtured.  I wanted to hurt him back almost as much as I wanted things to work out.  Not good.  But it is what it was.  And I learned some valuable lessons about myself and others as I walked that road.

Heavenly Father,
I know someone will read this and relate.  I know you do not have me doing this for my own sake alone, though no one surrenders something without receiving something in return.  I pray for myself, and those who read this, that we would continue to receive healing and restoration.  Because I know that is what you call us to.  Restoration to you.  Restoration in our marriages, that are suppose to be a reflection of our relationship with you.
Thank you LORD for caring enough to never leave us or forget us.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

Broken Hearted

There is nothing like being at the top of your world and having it crash in on you.  I have had it happen 3 times.  Each time it is the realization that life will never be the same smashing into a great loss of the heart.
I suppose it would be different for each individual.  And some would look at my three and think that they cannot even compare to one another.  But in my life, with my heart, they do.




Number one.  The (first) love of my life was arrested on the eve of his proposing marriage to me.  I was in high school.  Young and thinking my life was finely going right.  I got a call from the sheriffs office from an officer nice enough to let me know my boyfriend would not be showing up to take me to the preplanned night out because he was in jail on 3 counts of murder.  Yes, really.  My life collapsed.  I won't spend this time going through the cascade down that cliff now.

Number two.  I woke to find my 2 month old son, Anthony, dead in his bassinet.  SIDS.  I don't really need to recap the reality of what came after that right now either.

Number three.  After 22 years of marriage I found out my husband was keeping a secret from me for the last 10 years.  Now it wasn't cheating on me.  It wasn't, by the worlds standards, even something that is that big a deal.  But it was to me.  The bigger deal though, was that it was a habit he had been kept from me for 10 years.  That fact was the killer.  And that is the place where I am beginning the story I have been leading up to for the last three posts. Well, where I will begin next time.

I want you to know that despite everything I share, I am at a place of forgiveness.  I am no better than my husband.  I have my own faults that probably notch me higher on the list of things that are bad in one's life.  I am sharing this, and the last two years of my life, so that I can reveal healing to someone who needs it.  Marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done.  The longest thing I have ever stuck with, in my life. And a daily thing, sometimes, that I have to lay before the Lord to stay in.  I love my husband.  But it is from a different place and a different love than I had for him years ago.  And the most growth we have had started with that tragic day 2 years ago, when I found out I didn't really know him at all.

Lord,
As I, we, travel this journey I went on (and am still on) please protect hearts and minds.  Please minister to hurting people and give the hope and healing that only you can provide.  I love you Lord. More than any one or any thing.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use a trial to touch someone else's life for the better.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

My Time Away...the Beginning.

First Listen to this song. Broken Beautiful Then continue...

We all take breaks from things.  Activities, places, people... And we all have our reasons.  Sometimes we just implode into ourselves as a means of self preservation and build a wall of protection to keep from being beat up by the situation or circumstances.  I have had several such journeys in my life.  All were proceeded by major tears in the fabric of my reality.  You know what I am talking about.  Those moments when something just slams you.  So big, so unexpected, a long long battle, that you are left reeling...

Two years ago was one of those times for me. And it may not seem as monumental as some of the other moments in my life.  My first son dying at two months of age is one example.  But it was probably worse in some ways because it shattered a reality that I had so recently taken a hold of.  A false reality, but one that I thought meant I had finally come to a place in life when all the pieces fit nicely together and life was good.

Now many would wonder at that and some would agree with me.  I had just gotten over my healing from the hysterectomy I got.  I felt like a million dollars.  My husband and I were closer than we had been in years.  I was enjoying my identity.  I was "Christian Woman, Still Together-Married 20+years-to A Nice Guy, Home school Mom, Church Member, Women's Ministry Member, Volunteer, Had it all together, Blah, Blah, Blah. 

It makes me feel jealous to read that.  Then I remember that just because you see the painting doesn't mean you know the artist.  Weird analogy.  But a fitting one. Because anyone who looked at my life would see the same thing and think...

The problem with that thinking, whether about your own life, or someone else's, is that you're ignoring something if you don't see the imperfections in the picture.  And the imperfections are just important to the beauty as the perfect strokes.  But you have to grow into that mindset before that way of thinking will make sense, and at this point in my life, I was not there.  Despite what all I had been through in life, to shape me into who I was at that point.  I still didn't know what growing I had to do.  And it was going to take a fall into the pit of life to start the next stage.

For you, the reader, I want you to know if you are there, then you know what I am saying between all the words. I want you to understand that someone has been there and knows it sucks.  It hurts.  It makes no sense.  It is too much to even deal with  and even in a Christian culture that mantras that saying, "God will not give you more than you can handle"... Sometimes God does.  And in that realization lies part of the answer that will get you through this.  Because the unspoken rest of that is, He will not give you more than you can handle 'With Him'.  

You are not alone.  Even when you feel like you are.  I didn't have many people reach out to me, but I had a friend who was good counsel and spoke truth to me in love.  I took an incredible leap and went to Christian counseling.  I wanted what I was being told to be in line with God's will for my life.  And no matter how mad at God I was I stayed in the bible, reading each night and praying heartfelt, tear filled prayers.  
All of this did not happen over night.  And, as I will discuss in future messages, it was at times, slow going. 

I want you to go to the link that I post at the end and read it. This was a verse from the bible that gave me a small measure of hope. It may not feel true and may not give you the comfort you long for.  But when you look back, when you are through this heartache, you will find that it did. And I will be praying for you as you are traveling your journey and passing through mine.

Romans 5:1-5

Come Awake

I am going to try and break up the last two years into swallowable portions.  I have read over all my other posts and realize some of them are so long.  Add to that, the fact that I haven't written during some of the most difficult two years of my life...I know hard to imagine it being worse than it ever was...and it makes for a novel.  Do not fear though, I will not write a book in one sitting.  Suffice it to say that the woman who was here two years ago, content with life and having it all, despite the odds, was put to the test and I went into a two year coma of trying to find that faith I thought I had been living out prior to my lift exploding. I make no promises how long it will take to catch up to my present, but I will try to mix in the "now and then" as evenly as possible, and in it all find the place of encouragement. Also, if you have never read from the beginning of this blog (it isn't huge) I would recommend it so you can catch up to two years ago!!!  So much to cover! So much Hope where there seemed to be no Hope! Rejoice with me as I start to share my life with you again.
I will start off by sharing a post I wrote on Facebook that will help lead into the posts that will come to follow. 

'I have had an AWESOME morning! Got up and walked my 3 miles, BY MY SELF!!! Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but I have anxiety that hinders me from doing things sometimes. This was one of them. So a huge milestone for me!!! And the song that began to play on my walk was Alive by Avalon. The words washed over me. And I heard God speaking to my Soul. Lazarus was in the tomb 4 days, when Jesus called him out, to come alive. For the purpose of glorifying God. Today I feel as though God has called me awake, at 44 years, so that I can finally see who I am, when it is just me and Him. And what has been missing and what is important. And I think this is a turning point in my life.'

One Body with Many Parts

It has been too long since I last offered up some encouragement or shared my life.  Having fully recovered from surgery I have been like an energizer bunny doing, doing, doing.  But I have also been listening to our Lord God too.  I have been focusing on family and friends during this summer break.  Now that is winding down and today I have an end of summer cold.  So here I am prioritizing for this coming year and I have a few things to share.
I have a heart for service. Serving others and serving in our church.  I also have always had a hard time saying no, even if it has stretched me to the breaking point. Too often I have tried to be a hand, foot, and eye at the same time. (see the bible passage at the bottom to understand this part)
It doesn't work. This year I made a commitment to God, my family, and myself that I was going to focus on the ministry that God has called me too. But as September approaches I have had to start saying no, and quite frankly... I am no good at it. I feel bad! But I know that I cannot do everything, nor am I suppose to. Lord, thank you for the wonderful way you call us to serve and the hearts you give us, but help me and others with remembering to focus on your call and not just the many voices crying out for help. Remind us that you have prepared others for those roles. In Jesus Name, Amen.

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

New Living Translation (NLT)

One Body with Many Parts

¹² The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. ¹³ Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

¹⁴ Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. ¹⁵ If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

¹⁸ But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. ¹⁹ How strange a body would be if it had only one part! ²⁰ Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. ²¹ The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

²² In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.²³ And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, ²⁴ while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. ²⁵ This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

²⁷ All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. ²⁸ Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:

first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

²⁹ Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? ³⁰ Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! ³¹ So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts.

But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.

I am Meant to Be an Oregonian...

 When I started this blog I meant it to be honest to goodness, real life, encouragement with a focus on Christ.  I know this blog and writing is gonna go to dust someday.  And I am really bad at sticking with too many things for very long.  Not to mention the fact that there are a billion out there, but hopefully it serves a greater purpose for the one person who reads it and needs it. Often times I feel like when I write I am trying to encourage myself, but I get too excited about what God is revealing to me and it becomes preachy or too deep.  Don't get me wrong, I end up there because I love Deep.  But as much as I love it I am often shallow in my life.  So instead of being a conduit of the living water I am often a runoff from the rain.  

Today Ron and I went on a walk in the park.  We live in a small town that has started to adopt some big town things and ideas...well, at least some bigger town things and ideas.  the park is nice and one place where change is happening slowly.  The old park benches are decaying, new ones are in different places. Most of the old play equipment has been changed out with the new fangled, ergonomical, plastic stuff. I realize how much my husband and I sound like old farts with how we miss the old stuff that really has little impact on us.  

As we walked around the park I still really found some joy in the fact that for being almost July it was overcast and cool.  Everything is super green right now.  It made me start to think about growing up in Portland and working for a year down town and never going to any of the parks in that part of town, though I rode the bus there every day.  I cannot even remember what anything on my 6 block walk from the bus stop looked like.  
Now, to be fair, I was 18 at the time and pretty self absorbed.  I had appreciated sights, sounds, and nature as a kid, but as a teen it lost the magic for me in the wake of boys, malls, and self.  Also, I remember always being scared of people I didn't know and avoided eye contact and confrontation.  
I am plenty beyond that now.  Two grown kids and two half way there.  Married 22 years this week.  I realized that I still take very little time to actually suck in the beauty and appreciation for the stuff God created without my input.  I didn't know God back then, but what are my excuses now?  I am often still absorbed by what ever is currently in my life.  So boys, malls, and self have given away to children, second-hand stores, and the husband.  All the same in different clothing.  
Most of all I came to realize that I never appreciated those things when it was raining.  Nothing like being a native Oregonian and hating the rain.  

And yes, I know there are parts of Oregon that are not that stereotypical. But I have always lived in fitting places.  I have lovely seasonally affected emotions and when it is gray, wet, and cold I tend to be a real drip myself.  I know it is not going to kill me and I am not going to drown in it, but I just don't like it.  There, I said it.  I don't like the rain.  But, I want to like it...
I have heard all the Pollyanna positive points to the rain.  And I know them in my heart.  God's way of watering the earth.  So as I walked around the park I appreciated the greenness, but I had no desire to get wet and was glad that the rain held off for the walk.  I did enjoy really taking in the sound of the large creek, the wind in the trees, children laughing, the soft touch of Ron's hand in mine.  The smell of the flowers and green damp earth. It was nice.  But I am still not sure if when another 25 years pass if I will even remember anything about it.  I still come home and realize there is a water leak, kids fighting, housework to be done.  I wonder if the fleet moment of joy in the park will make a stand out memory, as nice as it was.  

I love my God, but I do not appreciate everything that he has surrounded me with in life.  I realize it all has purpose.  And it serves a greater purpose that I do not even have the brains to comprehend.  But I don't like some stuff.  I find myself having to pray so verses I learned from the bible to help me not just want to call myself a lost cause. (Yes, that is being dramatic.) And really in a world where people who don't have faith believe reality is what you make it I would be (and was) feeling hopeless and miserable.  But God gave me some insight into the fact that there are bigger things and bigger meaning to things in the last 15 years.  
I know I am not perfect and I don't ever intend on achieving anything close in this life.  I still stave off some of those same self focused fatalistic emotions.  I am still a sufferer of the weakness and frailties of humanity.  But I am gradually learning to spend more time, than not, now focusing on the meaningful things and appreciating God's handiwork more than mans.  Maybe I am getting old. Maybe a spark of wisdom is creeping in my life.  Or maybe God is just whispering louder so I can hear him touching my life.  I don't know exactly. This is what I can hear Him say...This is the way you felt, 

Ecclesiastes 3:1- 22 (NIV)
A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.  I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
 Whatever is has already been, 
    and what will be has been before; 
    and God will call the past to account.
And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment 
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.”
I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.  Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

...But now you and others have a greater view of things because of the hope we have made possible through Jesus and the truth we live by.  The writer in Ecclesiastes got a lot of it right, but like so many of us he filled in the blanks with his own limited knowledge and the evil one found a way of making him feel hopeless.  Unlike him, we know that the human soul has a great hope!

Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)
Peace and Hope

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God

My hope for you is that you too find some encouragement in what God has to say and what I share.  
Blessings!

What's the Matter?

When I am thinking I often get this question.  I am very expressive and my face shows what is going on whether I like it or not.  And when I am thinking it tends to read blank or all tightened up into deep concentration.


I have been very introspective and extrospective lately.  I know, big words.  I love big words. I work at trying to find out what they mean.  Actually I tend to try to find words to actually sum up what I am doing or thinking and sound good too. It makes me laugh.  I am probably someone who can sound so smart and so stupid all in the same conversation.  I am often guilty of making up my own words that do not have a place in the dictionary or trying to use an analogy that is completely off base.  One area I work hard at not doing any of this is when it comes to sharing God's word and His truth. 

I will never forget the impact in had on me, early in my walk with God, to have someone I respected as a teacher misrepresent God and His words to me.  I was very niave about the Lord from a learned prospective and, though I had a personal relationship with Christ, I was trying to learn all I could from those who were wiser and older in the faith.  Nothing wrong in that.  God says in Titus 2:1-8 that Christ's believers should be doing that.  But at the same time everything we hear should be crossreferenced with God's word and character.  Even the best or well meaning mentors and leaders can have misguided beliefs that were passed down to them or that they came up with themselves.  So to learn to be wise ourselves we need to rely heavily on God and be accountable for what is being taught to us.  God will have a reckoning with those people who teach falsely.  After having been lead into false doctrine, teaching, I was lead to where God says in James 3:1-2 (NLT):


Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.  Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.


Not only did this make me wary of teaching if I didn't know what I was teaching, but it made me realize my responsibility to help others know what God is really saying if He so leads me that way.  Sometimes even correcting or disagreeing with others.  


Titus 1:9 
He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.

A few other verses that Paul speaks on this subject had to do with the ministry that Timothy was doing in the church at Ephesus.  There were others who were teaching wrong things about the faith.  Paul wrote this epistle to Timothy to remind him of his responsibility to stop false teachers and set things in order in the church. He commanded Timothy to maintain pure teaching and set an example for other churches to follow.  Here are some key passages that cover what I am referring to.  Please always read all around these so that you are seeing the context for yourself and can have confidence in what I am referring to and saying.

1 Timothy 1:3-11
 When I left for Macedonia, I urged you to stay there in Ephesus and stop those whose teaching is contrary to the truth.  Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God.


The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. But some people have missed this whole point. They have turned away from these things and spend their time in meaningless discussions. They want to be known as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they speak so confidently.


We know that the law is good when used correctly. For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders.  The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching  that comes from the glorious Good News entrusted to me by our blessed God.

1 Timothy 6:3-5
Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. These people always cause trouble. Their minds are corrupt, and they have turned their backs on the truth. To them, a show of godliness is just a way to become wealthy.

2 Timothy 2:15-19
Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus.  They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith.


 But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and “All who belong to the Lord must turn away from evil.”

Some areas we will not know what God intended on meaning, for sure, until we can ask the Savior himself, but we can do our best to make sure we are honoring God through our teaching, and our learning, by aligning it to what we do know of God, His word, and His character.  If it doesn't sound like what you know of God, it may not be.

I have been wrong and corrected several times myself.  And I have learned to accepted this admonishing and correction with grace and humility.  I am a baby of the faith in so many respects.  But I intend on growing and making sure that I am a servant that God is pleased with.  That when I tell someone about Him it is the God I know, not just the God I know about.


2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.


I encourage you today to make sure you are doing the same.  Let us walk in faith, by faith, and for faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Blessings!

Healing Prayers

“ 

And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.” 

James 5:15-16 (NLT)

I love this picture that has floated around Google.  I don't know where it originated, but I see a set of hands that have worked hard.  I am thinking this person is probably tired, sweaty, and dirty, from a hard days work.  Nevertheless, these are the hands of someone praying.  

Many times, we feel too busy or get too distracted by the business to go to the Lord in prayer.  We save it for bedtime, or mealtime, because it fits in there.  However, I am asking you to consider something different for your prayer life. In the bible, Ephesians 6:18 Paul gives us a template for when we should be praying.

'Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.'

What does that look like in your life?  You’re at work, what ever your job, and a prayer request comes to you.  Pray as soon as you can step aside from your work.  If you’re a mom, it may mean a moment with your head bowed in the laundry room, or a construction worker taking a moment on his break.  It doesn't matter what your occupation is, it matters that you are responsive and obedient to the call to pray at "all times and on every occasion."  

This has been something I have been doing the last couple of years, especially.  If a friend asks for prayer on fb, over the phone, or in person I now tend to go to prayer right then, or soon there after.  Any longer than that and it could slip my mind and I know only too well the importance of prayer and what it means to be on the receiving end of prayer.

With being down and healing right now from surgery, I have asked for prayer much.  I know that God is my strength and I need that reminder so others praying for me is a strength and I feel that God is honoring those prayers.  I have also had problems with bleeding and other complications.  I still feel at peace, even though I may not like it, because I know ultimately God is in control and that one way or another everything is going to be just right by divine standards.  I know the prayers of those who lift me up are helping to make that my reality.

Lastly, I want to end this letter posting more of Ephesians 6.  Preceding the call to prayer in 18 is some important instructions that I think prepare us for this life of prayer and something we should keep in the forefronts of our minds.  It ends with a prayer that I hold in my heart and ask you all to lift me up to be.  May it teach you something new, encourage you, and give you a heart of prayer!

Blessings,

Stephanie

The Whole Armor of God

 Ephesians 6:10-20

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

And pray for me, too. Ask God to give me the right words so I can boldly explain God’s mysterious plan that the Good News is for Jews and Gentiles alike. I am in chains now, still preaching this message as God’s ambassador. So pray that I will keep on speaking boldly for him, as I should.

What is Your Path?

How often do you wonder what your path is?  Is it really your path or is it God's path and you just have to figure that out?  I wondered that for years.  Often feeling like it was my path when things were going good and it was a sabotaged plan or God's plan when things were just going wrong; when bad things happened, when it didn't go my way, etc.
I have been a Christian for only 15ish years.  When I think about that I feel like a baby.  For that matter at 42 years (my birthday is on Tuesday) I am told by all the older people at church that I am a baby!  Never would I have dreamed at 20 that anyone would say that when I had doubled my years.  But we are all babies compared to someone else.  Someone who is wiser, who has lived longer, who has experienced more, who has survived much or given up much.
And one of the things God has been kind to me on is learning much in such a short time.  Important things that the world may not value, but things I value because they have changed my life and made it the life I should have dreamed of.  How many of you can say you are living the life, the one that makes you wish for no other?  I can.
It took a change in everything.  My perspective, my value system, my maturity, and my relationship with God.  I know that if you would have told me that 20 years ago I would have told you to get lost.  My dreams were very textbook American and materialistic.  But in the last 15 years God has done something in me.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

This was not my prayer to start with when God found me.  It was a prayer of deliverance, but not for my heart.  But I didn't realize that it was something I needed. Felt pretty self righteous about my self and my life. My wants and needs were important, to me.  God needed me to live it out some and see what it held for me to be so self focused.  Conflict, loneliness, confusion, anxiety, unstable relationships, etc.

It is when I could no longer be faithful to God and faithful to my idea of how things were suppose to go that God had my full attention as to where he wanted me to go. I truly saw Him when he saved my soul, but I did not see Him relationally for who he was until I got to know Him.  It would have happened faster if I had not been looking for what I thought he should be, but once you get to know someone who they are will be revealed to you if you give time and energy to it.  One day you suddenly realize that something has changed and you suddenly get stuff.  Your heart is changing and you are growing to reflect the character of God more as time goes by.  In no way do you get perfect.  In no way do you stop making human decisions and mess up time to time.  But a pure heart is not perfect, it just has pure intentions and leans the right way.  That makes you stronger and makes your way smoother in life.  There are still just as many bumps in the road, but somehow they just don't feel as bad as they did before. 

Matthew 5:8. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

For me I start seeing God's hand in everything, and yet never had to assume that he was calling all the shots.  He just knows what is gonna be and sometimes helps things to go the way they are suppose to, to serve a purpose we cannot even imagine.  Suddenly your eyes open up to all that follows your heart being for God.

  

Psalm 33:21

In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

 Psalm 13:5

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Lean not on your own understanding...I didn't get it when I thought I did and now that I realize I don't I think I may be closer than I ever have been.  It all falls back to something Jesus said when an 'important' man asked him what the Greatest commandment in God's law was. ( Matthew 22:34-40)

Jesus replied: 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

Read it time and time again.  Thought I felt it, but as long as I was loving me more than God and others I wasn't getting it.  When I realized that everything hinged on this, and this was God's will for me I suddenly realized that this had to be a choice I made.  The funny thing is I thought it was going to be about obedience, but it ended up being about a change in heart and realizing that God could put that in me once I opened myself up to it.  Now, everything is making sense.  And I am loving people for who they are, created in God's image.  I realize that we are all imperfect and in need and I am here to serve a greater function than making myself happy.  The happiest I have felt is right now.  Not because my life is perfect, but because my heart is in the right place.  I hope that in this you found encouragement and a way to make your own personal relationship with God deeper.

Well, I will have to write more later.  Only 4 days post-surgery and I am tired.  Blessed, grateful, thankful, but tired :)  

Blessings,

Stephanie

Healing Hand of God

I have seen the healing hand of God.
I have seen it so many times, in so many ways.


I am going into surgery at 5:30 this morning.  I am awake a little early :)  Yet, I am not anxious, but praising God.  I feel peace I would have never expected going into this, were it not for the fact that I have tremendous faith in my Lord and Savior.  Whether I were to live or die.  Whether the surgery goes wonderful or all wrong.  That happens some times in this incredibly fallen world.  I have a great and blessed life.  People expect to hear stuff like that from someone who has a lot of money, incredible talent, lots of possessions, etc.  I don't have that by American standards.  By third world standards I am rich in humanities eyes...but the riches I am talking about is a rich relationship with God.  One where I know where I am going, even if I don't know when.  Where I know that every trial, every tear, every joy and every blessing is from God and for His glory...and I am good with that.  At times I feel like I know a secret that so few know.  So many people worrying, fretting, wasting their lives never having peace.  Never really enjoying what they do have in life because they are searching for that elusive perfect thing to make them happy.  But if you search this earth and the things that make you happy in a worldly way you will be sorely disappointed.  I love what Paul says in Phillippians 4:12-13ish... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


I have been well off at times, I have been rock bottom poor at times, I have suffered great tragedy.  Abuse, losing a child, losing my home, complete break down.  I have gone through the stuff everyone else has gone through: Marriage troubles, kid troubles, friend troubles, church troubles, etc.  I have served in missions and seen the suffering at a level I could not have imagined.  


Yet, had I been where I am now I would have found more peace even in all of that, because my God is no longer in my boxed in area I use to allow Him to be.  He is everywhere and flowing freely through my life and self.  I wish I could explain it in a way that if you didn't have this you could understand.  I could pray for nothing better for anyone.


I know there are people who would say if I am going through surgery they cannot see how God has  shown his healing hand.  But I know there are trials that come in this life.  I know there are things that we go through that grow us, have significance to shaping who we are, and that have eternal impact because God uses them in ways we cannot even understand.  Like in the story of the woman who touched Jesus' hem, she had suffered for 12 years and her faith was still great.  She knew that Jesus was where she would find salvation and relief though she may have not known ahead of time what it would look like.  My surgery is a miracle that years ago a woman would not have had.  I feel like I am getting ready to touch the hem of Jesus.  I have touched it before and I know the power that courses through Him.  He saved my life once and he saves it still.  I will leave you with the verse from Mark that tells that story because that faith is the kind that brings me peace....Mark 5:24-34...A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,  because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” 


Love you guys, praying that the hand of Jesus touches our life today and that you seek Him and know Him.
Stephanie.

Hope Floats

This title could go so many ways.  After all a movie in 1996 with Julia Roberts boasted that title.  It could be a new drink. lol. I don't think it would be healthy though.  But what inspired me is totally different.  I started thinking about how with hope things are good, but the minute we start to doubt everything starts feeling like we are sinking.  
It has been that way this past year with my health.  As long as my eyes are on the Lord and what he has for me in this life things are good, no matter what.  But when I look at my circumstances that's when I start to worry or doubt.  
This made me think of an important time of learning for the disciples, especially Peter, during Jesus's time on earth.  The story is in the bible.  In Matthew 14 right after Jesus performs the miracle of feeding 5,000 people.  You would have to read it.  He fed them with one meal that he multiplied.  After that this is what happened: 

Matthew 14:22 is where it starts and it goes through 33.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Jesus said to him, "You of little faith," which could just as easily be said, trust or hope. To say we are to hope in the Lord may sound strange to you.  But to hope in the Lord is to trust He is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do.  The Psalms are a great area to find encouragement on this.  Here are a few verses from there that are inspirational to me about where my attitude and trust should be.

Psalm 25:5

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 25:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 25:21

May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.

Psalm 25:20-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 31:24

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 31:23-24 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:18

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

Psalm 33:17-19 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:19-21 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:22

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:21-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:4-6 (in Context)

Psalm 119:114

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalm 119:113-115 (in Context)

I think about how that must have been so encouraging through some really hard times that all God's people went through between when Psalms was written, many believe by King David, and the realization of the new hope they had in Jesus Christ.  When I read the new testament written by the Apostles I can hear how that belief became solid after Jesus's death and resurrection.  Read a few of their words with me:

 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

1 Timothy 4:9-11 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

Hebrews 6:17-19 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18-20

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

My prayer and hope for you is that this will encourage you and will make you crave to know God and the Lord Jesus more.  That you realize that no matter what life throws at you that when your hope is in the right place it changes the way you view life.

Blessings,

Stephanie

I Know The Plans I Have for You!

Well, it has been two weeks since I posted last, and truthfully I cannot even feel that much time has passed.  I have been focusing on living in a slow motion world.  Everything else around me is moving at normal speed, but I am not.
Within the week I will be starting the adrenal therapy.  Huge life modifications.  Eating low carb or gluten free can be difficult, but for me and my diabetes, coupled with the edrenal problems, I will have to do both.  I will be taking a wide range of supplements to compliment this strange new world of eatting.  And somehow I will try to introduce gentle, non-stressful exercise into my days.
Last Friday I heard back from the specialist and will be having a hysterectomy on the 23rd of May.  I go in on the 8th for my pre-op appointment and will be having blood work and an EKG.  They want to make sure I am up to this surgery.
I would love to say I am, and I hope that I am, or at least will be with the adrenal therapy.  But it has been a hard couple months since the last one.  I have ran the gamut from pushing through the pain and fatigue to sleeping all the time.  Now I have managed to figure out how to function slower and mostly skip naps, but definitely not be as "productive" as I felt I needed to be.  I am getting done what I need to be doing and the other stuff either doesn't get done or someone else does it.  Our house is always filled with family and so they have been pretty good about seeing something that needs to be done and just doing it.  Nothing is as I would have it, if I had a choice, but that is not to be.  My happy medium is I am able to do what is necessary for homeschooling, get some small chores done, lay down quite a bit, and when I feel the fatigue and light headedness coming on I stop what I am doing instead of pushing through.
Do I know what tomorrow or even next week or month holds?  I think I do, but going through the unknown valley I am in right now just reinforces the fact that I have no idea.  Who really does?  We plan and we try to figure out where we are going in life, but ultimately we do not know.  So what is a person to do? To not feel like giving up hope, or to keep from being overcome with depression. Trust in the Creator of the Universe.  The Savior of our Souls.  The one who gives meaning to our lives.  I would like to share scripture with you that reminds me of this and what I am here for.  One God was kind enough to give to the Women's Ministry team from last year, for this year.  Jeremiah 29:11.  No one last year would have known that I, or so many others, were going to need to remember this truth.  But we did!  I pray that these give you encouragement on your journey and in your plans.

Blessings,
Stephanie


Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps



Ephesians 1:11-12
 11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.


Psalm 33:10-12
New International Version (NIV)
 10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations.
 12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.


Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.