Trust is NOT Conditional on the Answers to your Prayers...

I love this pic from a bloggers site.  It captures so much of my heart. I love the Lord with all my heart.  More than anything in life or on earth or in Heaven above.  But a desire of my heart was to go into full time missions in Peru a couple years back.  I never could have imagined at the time that God would not want me there.  That it wasn't about Him not wanting me...it was about where He wanted me, to be, to serve and the fact that He knew best. My husband and I did all we could humanly do to try and get there and God closed doors we had no control over.  He took us where we never imagined we would go.  Different church, different jobs, different ministries, with very little the same.  Most things in life changed completely.
Monday I went to the doctor for my post operation appointment, from my laparoscopy, and found out that the diagnoses I was given 20+ years ago was incorrect.  I am 100% endometriosis free.  Yet my friends, family, and I had been praying that the surgery would show that the endometriosis was bad enough to get me a hysterectomy for relief of the pain I suffer from abdominally.  Never did we think that it would not be there.  Confused...a little.  I accepted that diagnoses a long time ago and have been at the mercy of it for years.  Now we face a chapter where we have not idea (again) what is causing the problems.  Another test, sometime soon,  to rule things out or in for a different diagnoses.   I am in a place where I have no idea what is gonna happen or what is gonna come out of this now.  I am praising God for the endometriosis NOT being there.  I could claim this as a healing, but the symptoms and problems still.  You always want to give God the glory, but I want to be accurate.  The way I was diagnosed so many years ago is not even considered a reliable way of diagnosing today so I may never have had it.  Doesn't matter to me either way, though we all love to receive healing, because it is God either way to me.  He spared me or He healed me.  End of that Story.  But I still suffer from pain that is unexplained and it may be just more neuropathy, now in my abdominal region.  Though diagnosed with MS twice over the last 8 years the neurologists finally concluded that I have an undiagnosed neurological condition.  This causes the pain in my legs that is pretty much there, to some degree, all the time.  It sometimes effects other areas.  My eye sight and pupil function.  My hands and feet.  I have had episodes where it effected my speech and hearing. The list is even longer, but the answer is the same.  I had anomalies on my brain in MRI scans and they said that they were possible lesions and diagnosed me with MS then they went away.  I have claimed healing by God in the past for this, but I do not know what still causes the pain.  So I am not sure it was a healing from MS, but rather God giving me strength in the unknown.  Trust.  Not the answers that were easy, understandable, or what I thought they were going to be.  But I trust my God.  I know my life is His and where it goes and even how long it lasts is in His hands.  I trust and rest in Him.  I realize that I may just have another new pain to live with.  That God may say no to a healing, but He will never leave me or give me more than I can handle as long as I am with Him.  It definitely keeps me from doing too much that He may not want me to do.  But I guess I now pray for guidance as to how to get beyond this present trouble and go where he would have me.  
I trust He will have an answer for me on that one :)