What is Your Path?

How often do you wonder what your path is?  Is it really your path or is it God's path and you just have to figure that out?  I wondered that for years.  Often feeling like it was my path when things were going good and it was a sabotaged plan or God's plan when things were just going wrong; when bad things happened, when it didn't go my way, etc.
I have been a Christian for only 15ish years.  When I think about that I feel like a baby.  For that matter at 42 years (my birthday is on Tuesday) I am told by all the older people at church that I am a baby!  Never would I have dreamed at 20 that anyone would say that when I had doubled my years.  But we are all babies compared to someone else.  Someone who is wiser, who has lived longer, who has experienced more, who has survived much or given up much.
And one of the things God has been kind to me on is learning much in such a short time.  Important things that the world may not value, but things I value because they have changed my life and made it the life I should have dreamed of.  How many of you can say you are living the life, the one that makes you wish for no other?  I can.
It took a change in everything.  My perspective, my value system, my maturity, and my relationship with God.  I know that if you would have told me that 20 years ago I would have told you to get lost.  My dreams were very textbook American and materialistic.  But in the last 15 years God has done something in me.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

This was not my prayer to start with when God found me.  It was a prayer of deliverance, but not for my heart.  But I didn't realize that it was something I needed. Felt pretty self righteous about my self and my life. My wants and needs were important, to me.  God needed me to live it out some and see what it held for me to be so self focused.  Conflict, loneliness, confusion, anxiety, unstable relationships, etc.

It is when I could no longer be faithful to God and faithful to my idea of how things were suppose to go that God had my full attention as to where he wanted me to go. I truly saw Him when he saved my soul, but I did not see Him relationally for who he was until I got to know Him.  It would have happened faster if I had not been looking for what I thought he should be, but once you get to know someone who they are will be revealed to you if you give time and energy to it.  One day you suddenly realize that something has changed and you suddenly get stuff.  Your heart is changing and you are growing to reflect the character of God more as time goes by.  In no way do you get perfect.  In no way do you stop making human decisions and mess up time to time.  But a pure heart is not perfect, it just has pure intentions and leans the right way.  That makes you stronger and makes your way smoother in life.  There are still just as many bumps in the road, but somehow they just don't feel as bad as they did before. 

Matthew 5:8. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

For me I start seeing God's hand in everything, and yet never had to assume that he was calling all the shots.  He just knows what is gonna be and sometimes helps things to go the way they are suppose to, to serve a purpose we cannot even imagine.  Suddenly your eyes open up to all that follows your heart being for God.

  

Psalm 33:21

In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

 Psalm 13:5

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Lean not on your own understanding...I didn't get it when I thought I did and now that I realize I don't I think I may be closer than I ever have been.  It all falls back to something Jesus said when an 'important' man asked him what the Greatest commandment in God's law was. ( Matthew 22:34-40)

Jesus replied: 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

Read it time and time again.  Thought I felt it, but as long as I was loving me more than God and others I wasn't getting it.  When I realized that everything hinged on this, and this was God's will for me I suddenly realized that this had to be a choice I made.  The funny thing is I thought it was going to be about obedience, but it ended up being about a change in heart and realizing that God could put that in me once I opened myself up to it.  Now, everything is making sense.  And I am loving people for who they are, created in God's image.  I realize that we are all imperfect and in need and I am here to serve a greater function than making myself happy.  The happiest I have felt is right now.  Not because my life is perfect, but because my heart is in the right place.  I hope that in this you found encouragement and a way to make your own personal relationship with God deeper.

Well, I will have to write more later.  Only 4 days post-surgery and I am tired.  Blessed, grateful, thankful, but tired :)  

Blessings,

Stephanie

Healing Hand of God

I have seen the healing hand of God.
I have seen it so many times, in so many ways.


I am going into surgery at 5:30 this morning.  I am awake a little early :)  Yet, I am not anxious, but praising God.  I feel peace I would have never expected going into this, were it not for the fact that I have tremendous faith in my Lord and Savior.  Whether I were to live or die.  Whether the surgery goes wonderful or all wrong.  That happens some times in this incredibly fallen world.  I have a great and blessed life.  People expect to hear stuff like that from someone who has a lot of money, incredible talent, lots of possessions, etc.  I don't have that by American standards.  By third world standards I am rich in humanities eyes...but the riches I am talking about is a rich relationship with God.  One where I know where I am going, even if I don't know when.  Where I know that every trial, every tear, every joy and every blessing is from God and for His glory...and I am good with that.  At times I feel like I know a secret that so few know.  So many people worrying, fretting, wasting their lives never having peace.  Never really enjoying what they do have in life because they are searching for that elusive perfect thing to make them happy.  But if you search this earth and the things that make you happy in a worldly way you will be sorely disappointed.  I love what Paul says in Phillippians 4:12-13ish... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


I have been well off at times, I have been rock bottom poor at times, I have suffered great tragedy.  Abuse, losing a child, losing my home, complete break down.  I have gone through the stuff everyone else has gone through: Marriage troubles, kid troubles, friend troubles, church troubles, etc.  I have served in missions and seen the suffering at a level I could not have imagined.  


Yet, had I been where I am now I would have found more peace even in all of that, because my God is no longer in my boxed in area I use to allow Him to be.  He is everywhere and flowing freely through my life and self.  I wish I could explain it in a way that if you didn't have this you could understand.  I could pray for nothing better for anyone.


I know there are people who would say if I am going through surgery they cannot see how God has  shown his healing hand.  But I know there are trials that come in this life.  I know there are things that we go through that grow us, have significance to shaping who we are, and that have eternal impact because God uses them in ways we cannot even understand.  Like in the story of the woman who touched Jesus' hem, she had suffered for 12 years and her faith was still great.  She knew that Jesus was where she would find salvation and relief though she may have not known ahead of time what it would look like.  My surgery is a miracle that years ago a woman would not have had.  I feel like I am getting ready to touch the hem of Jesus.  I have touched it before and I know the power that courses through Him.  He saved my life once and he saves it still.  I will leave you with the verse from Mark that tells that story because that faith is the kind that brings me peace....Mark 5:24-34...A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,  because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” 


Love you guys, praying that the hand of Jesus touches our life today and that you seek Him and know Him.
Stephanie.

Hope Floats

This title could go so many ways.  After all a movie in 1996 with Julia Roberts boasted that title.  It could be a new drink. lol. I don't think it would be healthy though.  But what inspired me is totally different.  I started thinking about how with hope things are good, but the minute we start to doubt everything starts feeling like we are sinking.  
It has been that way this past year with my health.  As long as my eyes are on the Lord and what he has for me in this life things are good, no matter what.  But when I look at my circumstances that's when I start to worry or doubt.  
This made me think of an important time of learning for the disciples, especially Peter, during Jesus's time on earth.  The story is in the bible.  In Matthew 14 right after Jesus performs the miracle of feeding 5,000 people.  You would have to read it.  He fed them with one meal that he multiplied.  After that this is what happened: 

Matthew 14:22 is where it starts and it goes through 33.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Jesus said to him, "You of little faith," which could just as easily be said, trust or hope. To say we are to hope in the Lord may sound strange to you.  But to hope in the Lord is to trust He is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do.  The Psalms are a great area to find encouragement on this.  Here are a few verses from there that are inspirational to me about where my attitude and trust should be.

Psalm 25:5

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 25:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 25:21

May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.

Psalm 25:20-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 31:24

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 31:23-24 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:18

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

Psalm 33:17-19 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:19-21 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:22

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:21-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:4-6 (in Context)

Psalm 119:114

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalm 119:113-115 (in Context)

I think about how that must have been so encouraging through some really hard times that all God's people went through between when Psalms was written, many believe by King David, and the realization of the new hope they had in Jesus Christ.  When I read the new testament written by the Apostles I can hear how that belief became solid after Jesus's death and resurrection.  Read a few of their words with me:

 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

1 Timothy 4:9-11 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

Hebrews 6:17-19 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18-20

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

My prayer and hope for you is that this will encourage you and will make you crave to know God and the Lord Jesus more.  That you realize that no matter what life throws at you that when your hope is in the right place it changes the way you view life.

Blessings,

Stephanie