UnGodly Expectations in Marriage

Wives and husbands need to read this and realize what we can do to each other. I know I needed this today and I hope that it gives you guidance and comfort too!

Devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries

One Body with Many Parts

It has been too long since I last offered up some encouragement or shared my life.  Having fully recovered from surgery I have been like an energizer bunny doing, doing, doing.  But I have also been listening to our Lord God too.  I have been focusing on family and friends during this summer break.  Now that is winding down and today I have an end of summer cold.  So here I am prioritizing for this coming year and I have a few things to share.
I have a heart for service. Serving others and serving in our church.  I also have always had a hard time saying no, even if it has stretched me to the breaking point. Too often I have tried to be a hand, foot, and eye at the same time. (see the bible passage at the bottom to understand this part)
It doesn't work. This year I made a commitment to God, my family, and myself that I was going to focus on the ministry that God has called me too. But as September approaches I have had to start saying no, and quite frankly... I am no good at it. I feel bad! But I know that I cannot do everything, nor am I suppose to. Lord, thank you for the wonderful way you call us to serve and the hearts you give us, but help me and others with remembering to focus on your call and not just the many voices crying out for help. Remind us that you have prepared others for those roles. In Jesus Name, Amen.

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

New Living Translation (NLT)

One Body with Many Parts

¹² The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. ¹³ Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

¹⁴ Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. ¹⁵ If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

¹⁸ But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. ¹⁹ How strange a body would be if it had only one part! ²⁰ Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. ²¹ The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

²² In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.²³ And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, ²⁴ while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. ²⁵ This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

²⁷ All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. ²⁸ Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:

first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

²⁹ Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? ³⁰ Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! ³¹ So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts.

But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.

I am Meant to Be an Oregonian...

 When I started this blog I meant it to be honest to goodness, real life, encouragement with a focus on Christ.  I know this blog and writing is gonna go to dust someday.  And I am really bad at sticking with too many things for very long.  Not to mention the fact that there are a billion out there, but hopefully it serves a greater purpose for the one person who reads it and needs it. Often times I feel like when I write I am trying to encourage myself, but I get too excited about what God is revealing to me and it becomes preachy or too deep.  Don't get me wrong, I end up there because I love Deep.  But as much as I love it I am often shallow in my life.  So instead of being a conduit of the living water I am often a runoff from the rain.  

Today Ron and I went on a walk in the park.  We live in a small town that has started to adopt some big town things and ideas...well, at least some bigger town things and ideas.  the park is nice and one place where change is happening slowly.  The old park benches are decaying, new ones are in different places. Most of the old play equipment has been changed out with the new fangled, ergonomical, plastic stuff. I realize how much my husband and I sound like old farts with how we miss the old stuff that really has little impact on us.  

As we walked around the park I still really found some joy in the fact that for being almost July it was overcast and cool.  Everything is super green right now.  It made me start to think about growing up in Portland and working for a year down town and never going to any of the parks in that part of town, though I rode the bus there every day.  I cannot even remember what anything on my 6 block walk from the bus stop looked like.  
Now, to be fair, I was 18 at the time and pretty self absorbed.  I had appreciated sights, sounds, and nature as a kid, but as a teen it lost the magic for me in the wake of boys, malls, and self.  Also, I remember always being scared of people I didn't know and avoided eye contact and confrontation.  
I am plenty beyond that now.  Two grown kids and two half way there.  Married 22 years this week.  I realized that I still take very little time to actually suck in the beauty and appreciation for the stuff God created without my input.  I didn't know God back then, but what are my excuses now?  I am often still absorbed by what ever is currently in my life.  So boys, malls, and self have given away to children, second-hand stores, and the husband.  All the same in different clothing.  
Most of all I came to realize that I never appreciated those things when it was raining.  Nothing like being a native Oregonian and hating the rain.  

And yes, I know there are parts of Oregon that are not that stereotypical. But I have always lived in fitting places.  I have lovely seasonally affected emotions and when it is gray, wet, and cold I tend to be a real drip myself.  I know it is not going to kill me and I am not going to drown in it, but I just don't like it.  There, I said it.  I don't like the rain.  But, I want to like it...
I have heard all the Pollyanna positive points to the rain.  And I know them in my heart.  God's way of watering the earth.  So as I walked around the park I appreciated the greenness, but I had no desire to get wet and was glad that the rain held off for the walk.  I did enjoy really taking in the sound of the large creek, the wind in the trees, children laughing, the soft touch of Ron's hand in mine.  The smell of the flowers and green damp earth. It was nice.  But I am still not sure if when another 25 years pass if I will even remember anything about it.  I still come home and realize there is a water leak, kids fighting, housework to be done.  I wonder if the fleet moment of joy in the park will make a stand out memory, as nice as it was.  

I love my God, but I do not appreciate everything that he has surrounded me with in life.  I realize it all has purpose.  And it serves a greater purpose that I do not even have the brains to comprehend.  But I don't like some stuff.  I find myself having to pray so verses I learned from the bible to help me not just want to call myself a lost cause. (Yes, that is being dramatic.) And really in a world where people who don't have faith believe reality is what you make it I would be (and was) feeling hopeless and miserable.  But God gave me some insight into the fact that there are bigger things and bigger meaning to things in the last 15 years.  
I know I am not perfect and I don't ever intend on achieving anything close in this life.  I still stave off some of those same self focused fatalistic emotions.  I am still a sufferer of the weakness and frailties of humanity.  But I am gradually learning to spend more time, than not, now focusing on the meaningful things and appreciating God's handiwork more than mans.  Maybe I am getting old. Maybe a spark of wisdom is creeping in my life.  Or maybe God is just whispering louder so I can hear him touching my life.  I don't know exactly. This is what I can hear Him say...This is the way you felt, 

Ecclesiastes 3:1- 22 (NIV)
A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.  I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
 Whatever is has already been, 
    and what will be has been before; 
    and God will call the past to account.
And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment 
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.”
I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.  Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

...But now you and others have a greater view of things because of the hope we have made possible through Jesus and the truth we live by.  The writer in Ecclesiastes got a lot of it right, but like so many of us he filled in the blanks with his own limited knowledge and the evil one found a way of making him feel hopeless.  Unlike him, we know that the human soul has a great hope!

Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)
Peace and Hope

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God

My hope for you is that you too find some encouragement in what God has to say and what I share.  
Blessings!

What's the Matter?

When I am thinking I often get this question.  I am very expressive and my face shows what is going on whether I like it or not.  And when I am thinking it tends to read blank or all tightened up into deep concentration.


I have been very introspective and extrospective lately.  I know, big words.  I love big words. I work at trying to find out what they mean.  Actually I tend to try to find words to actually sum up what I am doing or thinking and sound good too. It makes me laugh.  I am probably someone who can sound so smart and so stupid all in the same conversation.  I am often guilty of making up my own words that do not have a place in the dictionary or trying to use an analogy that is completely off base.  One area I work hard at not doing any of this is when it comes to sharing God's word and His truth. 

I will never forget the impact in had on me, early in my walk with God, to have someone I respected as a teacher misrepresent God and His words to me.  I was very niave about the Lord from a learned prospective and, though I had a personal relationship with Christ, I was trying to learn all I could from those who were wiser and older in the faith.  Nothing wrong in that.  God says in Titus 2:1-8 that Christ's believers should be doing that.  But at the same time everything we hear should be crossreferenced with God's word and character.  Even the best or well meaning mentors and leaders can have misguided beliefs that were passed down to them or that they came up with themselves.  So to learn to be wise ourselves we need to rely heavily on God and be accountable for what is being taught to us.  God will have a reckoning with those people who teach falsely.  After having been lead into false doctrine, teaching, I was lead to where God says in James 3:1-2 (NLT):


Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.  Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.


Not only did this make me wary of teaching if I didn't know what I was teaching, but it made me realize my responsibility to help others know what God is really saying if He so leads me that way.  Sometimes even correcting or disagreeing with others.  


Titus 1:9 
He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.

A few other verses that Paul speaks on this subject had to do with the ministry that Timothy was doing in the church at Ephesus.  There were others who were teaching wrong things about the faith.  Paul wrote this epistle to Timothy to remind him of his responsibility to stop false teachers and set things in order in the church. He commanded Timothy to maintain pure teaching and set an example for other churches to follow.  Here are some key passages that cover what I am referring to.  Please always read all around these so that you are seeing the context for yourself and can have confidence in what I am referring to and saying.

1 Timothy 1:3-11
 When I left for Macedonia, I urged you to stay there in Ephesus and stop those whose teaching is contrary to the truth.  Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God.


The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. But some people have missed this whole point. They have turned away from these things and spend their time in meaningless discussions. They want to be known as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they speak so confidently.


We know that the law is good when used correctly. For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders.  The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching  that comes from the glorious Good News entrusted to me by our blessed God.

1 Timothy 6:3-5
Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. These people always cause trouble. Their minds are corrupt, and they have turned their backs on the truth. To them, a show of godliness is just a way to become wealthy.

2 Timothy 2:15-19
Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus.  They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith.


 But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and “All who belong to the Lord must turn away from evil.”

Some areas we will not know what God intended on meaning, for sure, until we can ask the Savior himself, but we can do our best to make sure we are honoring God through our teaching, and our learning, by aligning it to what we do know of God, His word, and His character.  If it doesn't sound like what you know of God, it may not be.

I have been wrong and corrected several times myself.  And I have learned to accepted this admonishing and correction with grace and humility.  I am a baby of the faith in so many respects.  But I intend on growing and making sure that I am a servant that God is pleased with.  That when I tell someone about Him it is the God I know, not just the God I know about.


2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.


I encourage you today to make sure you are doing the same.  Let us walk in faith, by faith, and for faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Blessings!

Healing Prayers

“ 

And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.” 

James 5:15-16 (NLT)

I love this picture that has floated around Google.  I don't know where it originated, but I see a set of hands that have worked hard.  I am thinking this person is probably tired, sweaty, and dirty, from a hard days work.  Nevertheless, these are the hands of someone praying.  

Many times, we feel too busy or get too distracted by the business to go to the Lord in prayer.  We save it for bedtime, or mealtime, because it fits in there.  However, I am asking you to consider something different for your prayer life. In the bible, Ephesians 6:18 Paul gives us a template for when we should be praying.

'Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.'

What does that look like in your life?  You’re at work, what ever your job, and a prayer request comes to you.  Pray as soon as you can step aside from your work.  If you’re a mom, it may mean a moment with your head bowed in the laundry room, or a construction worker taking a moment on his break.  It doesn't matter what your occupation is, it matters that you are responsive and obedient to the call to pray at "all times and on every occasion."  

This has been something I have been doing the last couple of years, especially.  If a friend asks for prayer on fb, over the phone, or in person I now tend to go to prayer right then, or soon there after.  Any longer than that and it could slip my mind and I know only too well the importance of prayer and what it means to be on the receiving end of prayer.

With being down and healing right now from surgery, I have asked for prayer much.  I know that God is my strength and I need that reminder so others praying for me is a strength and I feel that God is honoring those prayers.  I have also had problems with bleeding and other complications.  I still feel at peace, even though I may not like it, because I know ultimately God is in control and that one way or another everything is going to be just right by divine standards.  I know the prayers of those who lift me up are helping to make that my reality.

Lastly, I want to end this letter posting more of Ephesians 6.  Preceding the call to prayer in 18 is some important instructions that I think prepare us for this life of prayer and something we should keep in the forefronts of our minds.  It ends with a prayer that I hold in my heart and ask you all to lift me up to be.  May it teach you something new, encourage you, and give you a heart of prayer!

Blessings,

Stephanie

The Whole Armor of God

 Ephesians 6:10-20

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

And pray for me, too. Ask God to give me the right words so I can boldly explain God’s mysterious plan that the Good News is for Jews and Gentiles alike. I am in chains now, still preaching this message as God’s ambassador. So pray that I will keep on speaking boldly for him, as I should.

What is Your Path?

How often do you wonder what your path is?  Is it really your path or is it God's path and you just have to figure that out?  I wondered that for years.  Often feeling like it was my path when things were going good and it was a sabotaged plan or God's plan when things were just going wrong; when bad things happened, when it didn't go my way, etc.
I have been a Christian for only 15ish years.  When I think about that I feel like a baby.  For that matter at 42 years (my birthday is on Tuesday) I am told by all the older people at church that I am a baby!  Never would I have dreamed at 20 that anyone would say that when I had doubled my years.  But we are all babies compared to someone else.  Someone who is wiser, who has lived longer, who has experienced more, who has survived much or given up much.
And one of the things God has been kind to me on is learning much in such a short time.  Important things that the world may not value, but things I value because they have changed my life and made it the life I should have dreamed of.  How many of you can say you are living the life, the one that makes you wish for no other?  I can.
It took a change in everything.  My perspective, my value system, my maturity, and my relationship with God.  I know that if you would have told me that 20 years ago I would have told you to get lost.  My dreams were very textbook American and materialistic.  But in the last 15 years God has done something in me.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

This was not my prayer to start with when God found me.  It was a prayer of deliverance, but not for my heart.  But I didn't realize that it was something I needed. Felt pretty self righteous about my self and my life. My wants and needs were important, to me.  God needed me to live it out some and see what it held for me to be so self focused.  Conflict, loneliness, confusion, anxiety, unstable relationships, etc.

It is when I could no longer be faithful to God and faithful to my idea of how things were suppose to go that God had my full attention as to where he wanted me to go. I truly saw Him when he saved my soul, but I did not see Him relationally for who he was until I got to know Him.  It would have happened faster if I had not been looking for what I thought he should be, but once you get to know someone who they are will be revealed to you if you give time and energy to it.  One day you suddenly realize that something has changed and you suddenly get stuff.  Your heart is changing and you are growing to reflect the character of God more as time goes by.  In no way do you get perfect.  In no way do you stop making human decisions and mess up time to time.  But a pure heart is not perfect, it just has pure intentions and leans the right way.  That makes you stronger and makes your way smoother in life.  There are still just as many bumps in the road, but somehow they just don't feel as bad as they did before. 

Matthew 5:8. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

For me I start seeing God's hand in everything, and yet never had to assume that he was calling all the shots.  He just knows what is gonna be and sometimes helps things to go the way they are suppose to, to serve a purpose we cannot even imagine.  Suddenly your eyes open up to all that follows your heart being for God.

  

Psalm 33:21

In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

 Psalm 13:5

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Lean not on your own understanding...I didn't get it when I thought I did and now that I realize I don't I think I may be closer than I ever have been.  It all falls back to something Jesus said when an 'important' man asked him what the Greatest commandment in God's law was. ( Matthew 22:34-40)

Jesus replied: 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

Read it time and time again.  Thought I felt it, but as long as I was loving me more than God and others I wasn't getting it.  When I realized that everything hinged on this, and this was God's will for me I suddenly realized that this had to be a choice I made.  The funny thing is I thought it was going to be about obedience, but it ended up being about a change in heart and realizing that God could put that in me once I opened myself up to it.  Now, everything is making sense.  And I am loving people for who they are, created in God's image.  I realize that we are all imperfect and in need and I am here to serve a greater function than making myself happy.  The happiest I have felt is right now.  Not because my life is perfect, but because my heart is in the right place.  I hope that in this you found encouragement and a way to make your own personal relationship with God deeper.

Well, I will have to write more later.  Only 4 days post-surgery and I am tired.  Blessed, grateful, thankful, but tired :)  

Blessings,

Stephanie

Healing Hand of God

I have seen the healing hand of God.
I have seen it so many times, in so many ways.


I am going into surgery at 5:30 this morning.  I am awake a little early :)  Yet, I am not anxious, but praising God.  I feel peace I would have never expected going into this, were it not for the fact that I have tremendous faith in my Lord and Savior.  Whether I were to live or die.  Whether the surgery goes wonderful or all wrong.  That happens some times in this incredibly fallen world.  I have a great and blessed life.  People expect to hear stuff like that from someone who has a lot of money, incredible talent, lots of possessions, etc.  I don't have that by American standards.  By third world standards I am rich in humanities eyes...but the riches I am talking about is a rich relationship with God.  One where I know where I am going, even if I don't know when.  Where I know that every trial, every tear, every joy and every blessing is from God and for His glory...and I am good with that.  At times I feel like I know a secret that so few know.  So many people worrying, fretting, wasting their lives never having peace.  Never really enjoying what they do have in life because they are searching for that elusive perfect thing to make them happy.  But if you search this earth and the things that make you happy in a worldly way you will be sorely disappointed.  I love what Paul says in Phillippians 4:12-13ish... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


I have been well off at times, I have been rock bottom poor at times, I have suffered great tragedy.  Abuse, losing a child, losing my home, complete break down.  I have gone through the stuff everyone else has gone through: Marriage troubles, kid troubles, friend troubles, church troubles, etc.  I have served in missions and seen the suffering at a level I could not have imagined.  


Yet, had I been where I am now I would have found more peace even in all of that, because my God is no longer in my boxed in area I use to allow Him to be.  He is everywhere and flowing freely through my life and self.  I wish I could explain it in a way that if you didn't have this you could understand.  I could pray for nothing better for anyone.


I know there are people who would say if I am going through surgery they cannot see how God has  shown his healing hand.  But I know there are trials that come in this life.  I know there are things that we go through that grow us, have significance to shaping who we are, and that have eternal impact because God uses them in ways we cannot even understand.  Like in the story of the woman who touched Jesus' hem, she had suffered for 12 years and her faith was still great.  She knew that Jesus was where she would find salvation and relief though she may have not known ahead of time what it would look like.  My surgery is a miracle that years ago a woman would not have had.  I feel like I am getting ready to touch the hem of Jesus.  I have touched it before and I know the power that courses through Him.  He saved my life once and he saves it still.  I will leave you with the verse from Mark that tells that story because that faith is the kind that brings me peace....Mark 5:24-34...A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,  because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” 


Love you guys, praying that the hand of Jesus touches our life today and that you seek Him and know Him.
Stephanie.

Hope Floats

This title could go so many ways.  After all a movie in 1996 with Julia Roberts boasted that title.  It could be a new drink. lol. I don't think it would be healthy though.  But what inspired me is totally different.  I started thinking about how with hope things are good, but the minute we start to doubt everything starts feeling like we are sinking.  
It has been that way this past year with my health.  As long as my eyes are on the Lord and what he has for me in this life things are good, no matter what.  But when I look at my circumstances that's when I start to worry or doubt.  
This made me think of an important time of learning for the disciples, especially Peter, during Jesus's time on earth.  The story is in the bible.  In Matthew 14 right after Jesus performs the miracle of feeding 5,000 people.  You would have to read it.  He fed them with one meal that he multiplied.  After that this is what happened: 

Matthew 14:22 is where it starts and it goes through 33.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Jesus said to him, "You of little faith," which could just as easily be said, trust or hope. To say we are to hope in the Lord may sound strange to you.  But to hope in the Lord is to trust He is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do.  The Psalms are a great area to find encouragement on this.  Here are a few verses from there that are inspirational to me about where my attitude and trust should be.

Psalm 25:5

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 25:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 25:21

May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.

Psalm 25:20-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 31:24

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 31:23-24 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:18

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

Psalm 33:17-19 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:19-21 (in Context) 

Psalm 33:22

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:21-22 (in Context) 

Psalm 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:4-6 (in Context) 

Psalm 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:4-6 (in Context)

Psalm 119:114

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalm 119:113-115 (in Context)

I think about how that must have been so encouraging through some really hard times that all God's people went through between when Psalms was written, many believe by King David, and the realization of the new hope they had in Jesus Christ.  When I read the new testament written by the Apostles I can hear how that belief became solid after Jesus's death and resurrection.  Read a few of their words with me:

 Timothy 4:10

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

1 Timothy 4:9-11 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

Hebrews 6:17-19 (in Context) 

Hebrews 6:18-20

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

My prayer and hope for you is that this will encourage you and will make you crave to know God and the Lord Jesus more.  That you realize that no matter what life throws at you that when your hope is in the right place it changes the way you view life.

Blessings,

Stephanie

I Know The Plans I Have for You!

Well, it has been two weeks since I posted last, and truthfully I cannot even feel that much time has passed.  I have been focusing on living in a slow motion world.  Everything else around me is moving at normal speed, but I am not.
Within the week I will be starting the adrenal therapy.  Huge life modifications.  Eating low carb or gluten free can be difficult, but for me and my diabetes, coupled with the edrenal problems, I will have to do both.  I will be taking a wide range of supplements to compliment this strange new world of eatting.  And somehow I will try to introduce gentle, non-stressful exercise into my days.
Last Friday I heard back from the specialist and will be having a hysterectomy on the 23rd of May.  I go in on the 8th for my pre-op appointment and will be having blood work and an EKG.  They want to make sure I am up to this surgery.
I would love to say I am, and I hope that I am, or at least will be with the adrenal therapy.  But it has been a hard couple months since the last one.  I have ran the gamut from pushing through the pain and fatigue to sleeping all the time.  Now I have managed to figure out how to function slower and mostly skip naps, but definitely not be as "productive" as I felt I needed to be.  I am getting done what I need to be doing and the other stuff either doesn't get done or someone else does it.  Our house is always filled with family and so they have been pretty good about seeing something that needs to be done and just doing it.  Nothing is as I would have it, if I had a choice, but that is not to be.  My happy medium is I am able to do what is necessary for homeschooling, get some small chores done, lay down quite a bit, and when I feel the fatigue and light headedness coming on I stop what I am doing instead of pushing through.
Do I know what tomorrow or even next week or month holds?  I think I do, but going through the unknown valley I am in right now just reinforces the fact that I have no idea.  Who really does?  We plan and we try to figure out where we are going in life, but ultimately we do not know.  So what is a person to do? To not feel like giving up hope, or to keep from being overcome with depression. Trust in the Creator of the Universe.  The Savior of our Souls.  The one who gives meaning to our lives.  I would like to share scripture with you that reminds me of this and what I am here for.  One God was kind enough to give to the Women's Ministry team from last year, for this year.  Jeremiah 29:11.  No one last year would have known that I, or so many others, were going to need to remember this truth.  But we did!  I pray that these give you encouragement on your journey and in your plans.

Blessings,
Stephanie


Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps



Ephesians 1:11-12
 11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.


Psalm 33:10-12
New International Version (NIV)
 10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations.
 12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.


Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Sometimes Encouragement comes in Silent Doses!

Good Friday, two days ago, I got a late day call from the doctor that I have this condition that she thought I might have. She said that basically I am full of these tumors and that I would need a hysterectomy.  I had thought I was past anything being wrong but just being in unexplained pain.  I thought I would rejoice in a diagnosis, but that is when I thought I knew what I had.  Now with something new and unknown, but needing to be taken care of, I found myself taken by surprise.  

I went to service and found it hard to concentrate.  It was a communion service and I worried that I could not give proper focus to Jesus with such a burden on my heart.  I listened to the sermon and I could see scenes from The Passion of Christ as the pastor talked.  That is when I knew how much my Savior had paid a price for me.  It is one thing to read it, it is another to feel it come off the screen at you.

After the bread had been passed out and we were silently praying I was trying to repent of my worry, my failings, my weakness... all the weight I was carrying and just focus on how great our Savior is.  I was praising His name and His attributes, but was having a hard time focusing as I felt my husband had his arm around me.  I was so acutely aware of it's presence and the way he comfortingly stroked my back that I found myself caught up in that.  I opened my eyes to tell him I couldn't concentrate and I saw his hands were folded in his lap as he, too, prayed.  

I dropped my head and was again shocked for the second time that night. Taking in that the whole time I was praying and wanting to focus on the Lord he was right there with his arm around me.  There could be no other explanation. I took communion with a peace in my heart and a renewed appreciation for how the Lord knows what it is to need silent encouragement. 

I thought about Him in the garden before they came and arrested him.  He left his disciples and asked them to watch and pray and he went off to be by himself to pray.  Earnestly praying.  Please read Luke 22:39-46.  Things just didn't seem to go right and his disciples proved to be of no strength and encouragement.  When he could not take much more  'An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him'.

One day at a time, with its failures and fears. Whether it was an Angel or the Lord himself matters little to me because both come from God.  A loving God that saw my anguish and my true love for Him and comforted me in a personal way; no words were necessary.  

I think about when I lost my Grammie and the only thing I could handle was my husband holding me as my very being mourned the loss.  

What a loving God we have.  I pray that if you are not walking close with our Lord or do not know Him that you will read the "Healing the Hole in Your Heart" tab at the top of the page.  You will never receive comfort like what the Lord gives.  Praying you receive the comfort you need today.

A very good poem :)

ONE DAY AT A TIME

By Annie Johnson Flint

With its hurts and mistakes, with its weakness and tears,

With its portion of pain and its burden of care;

One day at a time we must meet and must bear.

One day at a time to be patient and strong;

To be calm under trial and sweet under wrong;

Then its toiling shall pass and its sorrow shall cease;

It shall darken and die, and the night shall bring peace.

One day at a time – but the day is so long,

And the heart is not brave, and the soul is not strong,

O Thou pitiful Christ, be Thou near all the way;

Give courage and patience and strength for the day.

Swift cometh His answer, so clear and so sweet;

“Yea, I will be with thee, thy troubles to meet;

I will not forget thee, nor fail thee, nor grieve;

I will not forsake thee; I never will leave.”

Not yesterday’s load we are called on to bear,

Nor the morrow’s uncertain and shadowy care;

Why should we look forward or back with dismay?

Our needs, as our mercies, are but for the day.

One day at a time, and the day is His day;

He hath numbered its hours, though they haste or delay.

His grace is sufficient; we walk not alone;

As the day, so the strength that He giveth His own.

The Skit Guys presentation of Good Friday

click on this link: Good Friday

I'm Tired of Praying for it....

Have you ever had that thought?  I have.  Not recently, but a few very  memorable  times in the past.  I guess whether you continue to pray about something is not so much the issue, but why you decide to stop praying.  Do you feel that you are within God's perfect will?...or are you feeling like giving up because there is silence answering you back at this moment?
There have been times when I listened to a voice of discouragement and stopped praying because I felt hopeless.  That is not from God.  Even when God says no he does it with encouragement and hope.  He will give you more than you are asking for, it will just look different, or you will find that it was better not to get what you wanted.
Seeing life from a Godly perspective often means surrendering your will for His.  So instead of giving up on prayer for what you want I want you to change your prayer today.  This is my prayer.

Lord,
Today I am so thankful that I have you as my God, my Lord, and my Savior.  I am thankful for what you have given me, and what you have said no about.  I want to give you my life, my family, my future.  Make it and mold it to reflect how much I love and depend on you now.  I am not afraid of the weakness of my humanity, only being separated from You.  But your word says you will never leave nor forsake me so that one is covered.  I ask you to do what you will with the pain I am feeling and I know that might mean you will take it away and it might mean you will give me strength to live with it.  But best of all I know that what ever you choose will be within your good and perfect will.  I will be happy where I am and love who and what is here to love.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen.

Trust is NOT Conditional on the Answers to your Prayers...

I love this pic from a bloggers site.  It captures so much of my heart. I love the Lord with all my heart.  More than anything in life or on earth or in Heaven above.  But a desire of my heart was to go into full time missions in Peru a couple years back.  I never could have imagined at the time that God would not want me there.  That it wasn't about Him not wanting me...it was about where He wanted me, to be, to serve and the fact that He knew best. My husband and I did all we could humanly do to try and get there and God closed doors we had no control over.  He took us where we never imagined we would go.  Different church, different jobs, different ministries, with very little the same.  Most things in life changed completely.
Monday I went to the doctor for my post operation appointment, from my laparoscopy, and found out that the diagnoses I was given 20+ years ago was incorrect.  I am 100% endometriosis free.  Yet my friends, family, and I had been praying that the surgery would show that the endometriosis was bad enough to get me a hysterectomy for relief of the pain I suffer from abdominally.  Never did we think that it would not be there.  Confused...a little.  I accepted that diagnoses a long time ago and have been at the mercy of it for years.  Now we face a chapter where we have not idea (again) what is causing the problems.  Another test, sometime soon,  to rule things out or in for a different diagnoses.   I am in a place where I have no idea what is gonna happen or what is gonna come out of this now.  I am praising God for the endometriosis NOT being there.  I could claim this as a healing, but the symptoms and problems still.  You always want to give God the glory, but I want to be accurate.  The way I was diagnosed so many years ago is not even considered a reliable way of diagnosing today so I may never have had it.  Doesn't matter to me either way, though we all love to receive healing, because it is God either way to me.  He spared me or He healed me.  End of that Story.  But I still suffer from pain that is unexplained and it may be just more neuropathy, now in my abdominal region.  Though diagnosed with MS twice over the last 8 years the neurologists finally concluded that I have an undiagnosed neurological condition.  This causes the pain in my legs that is pretty much there, to some degree, all the time.  It sometimes effects other areas.  My eye sight and pupil function.  My hands and feet.  I have had episodes where it effected my speech and hearing. The list is even longer, but the answer is the same.  I had anomalies on my brain in MRI scans and they said that they were possible lesions and diagnosed me with MS then they went away.  I have claimed healing by God in the past for this, but I do not know what still causes the pain.  So I am not sure it was a healing from MS, but rather God giving me strength in the unknown.  Trust.  Not the answers that were easy, understandable, or what I thought they were going to be.  But I trust my God.  I know my life is His and where it goes and even how long it lasts is in His hands.  I trust and rest in Him.  I realize that I may just have another new pain to live with.  That God may say no to a healing, but He will never leave me or give me more than I can handle as long as I am with Him.  It definitely keeps me from doing too much that He may not want me to do.  But I guess I now pray for guidance as to how to get beyond this present trouble and go where he would have me.  
I trust He will have an answer for me on that one :)

When the Weak are Strong

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I have spent years trying to tap into the meaning of this and understand it.  I often feel weak.  Broken.  I always feel like my health is a battle ground for spiritual warfare.  It is one area that can break me.  And it is one area where I choose to draw close to God and realize my weakness and His power.  It doesn't mean that I don't cry when in pain, feel overwhelmed by some things in my life, etc. We all have our moments.  But where do we go when those moments come.  If we turn to the Lord and ask for his help and he leaves us where we are at, it means there is something to learn from this experience and somehow it is being used for the greater good.  Knowing that this is possibly how God is working is not enough.  You need to know He is in control and this is Him.  This verse helps me to remember that. The great workers of the New Testament, that often we elevate to beyond feeling their hardships, really suffered in so many ways. Mental and physical distress and illness came upon them too, but where did they end up.  In victory as we can be in victory because:
 "God's grace is sufficient for everyone.  His power is made perfect in Weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on us.  That is why, for Christ's sake, WE delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when we are weak, then we are strong!"

Blessings my friends, stay strong in your weakness.

Sometimes we forget this life is temporary...

Right now is all there is of right now.  So often we get so wrapped up in the here and now, enjoying it when it is fun and enduring it when it sucks, but this life is just a foreshadow of what God has in store for us after this life. Just thinking about all His promises makes me smile through everything that is going on right now.  I am really thankful that these very things that will not be present in Heaven are here.  Because what would life be without the experiences.  The rich texture of our lives will only enhance who we are to become.  Maybe I have had too much pain medication, but at this point this all makes sense to me :) Goodnight all!

2 Days...

Two days from now I will be in surgery.  It is not surgery to fix my problems, but to confirm the diagnosis and take biopsies of tissue in my abdomen to stage the endometriosis.
I go into this knowing that it isn't going to make me feel better. It will be just one step closer, than I am now, to getting the resolution.  
Normally, Friday would be about the time I start having my Good/Normal week of the month.  Living mostly pain free that week is when I get things done.  This month I will be recovering from the surgery and praying that the results make it possible for me to get the surgery that will give me more than one good week a month.  
I have so many things running around in my mind and so many things in life that are shouting their need to be focused on and it is hard to stay down and not get overwhelmed.  I am not worried about surgery.    Though I do wonder if there is a verse that tells me not to get frustrated.  That is probably one of the peace ones. :)  All I know is I have a daughter who is getting married this summer and I so badly want to be working on that.  I have Women's Ministry jobs that I am suppose to be working on.  I have homeschooling that I am doing, half the time from my bed, and then just the normal  mom and wife stuff.  I put this all on myself, because everyone else keeps extending me grace and telling me all this other stuff is ok and that there are plenty of people to help.  And there are, loads just in my home.  And everyone is more than willing to help.  But I guess my hard time is that the things I love about life are being able to take care of others and my home and family.  To be a source of happiness in their lives and I am not able to really be that too well right now.  
This is when I get a gentle tap on the shoulder and the Lord reminds me that he did not call me to do all things through me.  My expectations are not His expectations and I need to surrender even this to Him.  He tells me through His Word that I need to call on Him when I feel like I am in too deep.  That He works through others too.  Lord help me today to do only what you would have me do and rest in your care. 
May the Lord help you to find that place today too.

Don't worry...

A Journey to Peace and Joy

I am not sure I had ever understood the feeling of either of those before this last year.  I use to associate them with situations that were strictly pleasant.  I find now that it is something very deep and baseline.  Not dependent on exterior circumstances or emotions so much.  I can express that I am in level 7 or 8 pain, as I would rate it, yet, I can smile with heart felt joy through agonizing tears.  I see things clearer through the pain than I ever have before.  I am not sure exactly when the change happened in this last year.  I know that I wasn't experiencing it during most of my life.  Times were good or they were bad.  Period.

I have been a christian since 1997 when I gave my life to Christ.  But until this last year I only really tasted small bits of what I am talking about.  There would be moments of peace and/or joy during trials, but often time they were fleeting because I still struggled with the face of it.  If you haven't listened to the song by Laura Story, Blessings, you need to.  It will probably say better what I am trying to.  Because for me the "what ifs" are really true.  My peace and joy are not dependent on smiles and a lack of pain, but a point of perspective. They come through raindrops and tears, turmoil and trauma.  Not just the good stuff. The last couple of years tore holes all over in my former thinking.  I started experiencing death and pain and disappointment at a rate that I could not run from, hide from, or ignore.  When that happens you have to face it or give up.   I know God well enough to know that He didn't give up on me and I wasn't allowed the luxury of thinking I could either.  I had tried that once, as my story told.  But I found I was angry at the lack of possibilities that would allow me to do what I wanted to do.  It was all about being able to serve God better, so I told myself, so it made it ok for me to be striving for more than what I was meant to have or do.  But that cliche that sometimes God says no is really true.  No to what we think we need or want, but yes to us and what will ultimately be the most wonderful for us. I know for some of you that won't even make sense.  Sounds like a bunch of flower wearing, bible toting bull.  But for once in my life it is not. The process began a couple of years ago when God said no about going into full time missions.  Some might say that is just our perspective on things, but God really made it quite clear.  Couple that with the loss of my grandmother and not dealing with the grief.  I could not see why he wouldn't want us there then, but now it is like looking back through a clean glass window.  I blamed everything else for it not working out, and then I blamed God for not thinking we were good enough to serve him that way.  I kind of imploded.  But out of the ashes came something beautiful.  I grew up and got what grace was.  What mercy was.  What it was to find peace and joy where tears and pain live. I figured out that God has a better way and I don't get it, but I don't have to.  I just have to rest in the fact that He does and somehow, someway there lies peace and joy beyond circumstances. I still make decisions for my life: God gave me a brain. I still believe in medical treatment; God can work miracles through others. I still cry when I am hurting or when someone else is; God gave me tears and the emotions to empathize. I still believe that God gave me free will and I could choose to walk down the broken road bare foot, but I choose to put on the armor of God and finally understand what that means. Blessings to you all and I hope you find God loving you where you are tonight. Romans 15:13 I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace as you trust in him. Then you will have more and more hope, and it will flow out of you by the power of the Holy Spirit.