Determined to Change my World

My last marriage post I left off with a cliff hanger, of sorts. Because I shared how we got to our dysfunction, but I knew we were not to a place where I could say we were healed.  Where I could say I wanted to stay in my marriage, even if that is what God wanted. I wrote of hope that I hoped to come and prayed prayers for others for the same.
A lot has happened since August of 2014.  A lot of difficult and good situations and outcomes.
We are still going to marriage counseling and, I for one, need it.  It helps us get over the bumps, the hard things to talk about, and helps us to grow in the journey of recovery.
We are recovering and learning to love where we are and who we are.  That is not easy.  When you got problems with who you are, they will become problems to overcome for your spouse too.  And I think we are way more imperfect than we let on, still.  But one day at a time.  I am finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.  I don't feel like I have to prove anything.  I am learning to taylor my expectations so that they are reasonable and laced with grace and mercy.  Neither of which have I ever been exceptionally good at.  And I am learning to see the best in my husband, rather than focusing on the things that I allowed irritate me for years.  Those "things" grew so big in my mind that they overshadowed anything good that I should have been focusing on. We have been learning how to be real. Honest to goodness, genuine, Ron and Stephanie.  Boy, that hurts sometimes.
We have survived some disappointment and some redirecting of our lives this last year. We learned how to hope and dream again.  How to pursue something we wanted.  How to handle being told no. How to face losing important wants. That we could be facing much worse.  How to find new dreams and start appreciating today, as much as tomorrow, or yesterday for that matter. Others in our lives have taught us some hard lessons about forgiveness and mercy.  And I am still staggering over some of those.  Realizing that I am an infant in that department.  Only beginning to even understand the fullness of the forgiveness of God.  But with each lesson I am humbled and have a greater appreciation for the attributes that I now seek to live out.
I am determined to change my world for the better by starting with me.  By growing and by encouraging growth in others.  I see 2015 as a year to live it out and I hope that I can let God in enough to end the year saying that I have. Here are some verses that inspire me:

Galatians 5:22-23
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

1 Thesalonnians 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

1 Colossians1:9-14
 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,  being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience,  and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.  For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

1 Peter 3:7-8 (and I think there is a message for both wife and husband in this)
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.