I go into this knowing that it isn't going to make me feel better. It will be just one step closer, than I am now, to getting the resolution.
Normally, Friday would be about the time I start having my Good/Normal week of the month. Living mostly pain free that week is when I get things done. This month I will be recovering from the surgery and praying that the results make it possible for me to get the surgery that will give me more than one good week a month.
I have so many things running around in my mind and so many things in life that are shouting their need to be focused on and it is hard to stay down and not get overwhelmed. I am not worried about surgery. Though I do wonder if there is a verse that tells me not to get frustrated. That is probably one of the peace ones. :) All I know is I have a daughter who is getting married this summer and I so badly want to be working on that. I have Women's Ministry jobs that I am suppose to be working on. I have homeschooling that I am doing, half the time from my bed, and then just the normal mom and wife stuff. I put this all on myself, because everyone else keeps extending me grace and telling me all this other stuff is ok and that there are plenty of people to help. And there are, loads just in my home. And everyone is more than willing to help. But I guess my hard time is that the things I love about life are being able to take care of others and my home and family. To be a source of happiness in their lives and I am not able to really be that too well right now.
This is when I get a gentle tap on the shoulder and the Lord reminds me that he did not call me to do all things through me. My expectations are not His expectations and I need to surrender even this to Him. He tells me through His Word that I need to call on Him when I feel like I am in too deep. That He works through others too. Lord help me today to do only what you would have me do and rest in your care.
May the Lord help you to find that place today too.
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