The Moment I hate to Remember

This could stand for so many things that leave us feeling this way.  Loss.  Discouraged.  Alone.  Different.  Unloved.  Helpless. Defenseless... The list could go on and on.  We each have something this would fit.  A time in our life that was forever embedded into our brains and it shaped who we are today.  Maybe it is currently shaping who you are to become.  Either way, it is a monumental moment.
This week I have had the ups and downs of people I love hitting highs and lows in their lives.  Each had to do with that moment when life changed forever and what follows.
For me the moment that fits this is the very one that my every day is because of.  Because had I not had that moment I do not believe I would be alive.
In 97 I was a young wife and mom of two who had had so many blows in her young life, yes many self inflicted, that the good didn't even look good because there was too much darkness overshadowing it all.  Throw in that I had anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders (that had not been properly diagnosed) and you are looking at a ticking time bomb.  It led to the day that I decided everyone was better off without me.  The voice in my head rationalized it, playing the same tape over and over.  So I lay in the dark, unable to sleep, formulating a plan of sorts, but sure of what I was to do, and found myself quite peacefully able to go to sleep.
What happened between that time and the morning was what came after that moment I hate to remember, but I can't stand to forget.  It is the moment I met the Savior.

To be Continued...